Vulgar

Vulgar is a strict, safe, purely functional, Turing-complete, untyped, interpreted, highly immature programming language with a monadic parser, big-step evaluator, and only four operators. Like Haskell, Vulgar is based on the SKI combinators of the untyped lambda calculus. Unlike Haskell or SKI, Vulgar is hilarious.

Why Vulgar?

Programming in Vulgar is like solving an intricate, delicate puzzle that warps your mind, making you smarter, faster, stronger, and more attractive. We made Vulgar because we felt that, as computer scientists, we do not sufficiently alienate enough people. With Vulgar, we empower computer scientists to write programs that are, in fact, lexically offensive.

Programming in Vulgar

Vulgar is inspired by the minds of fourteen-year-old boys. Vulgar has only four operators and is therefore very easy to learn. These are the Bling, Dick, Boob and Ass operators, as seen in the example below.

Vulgar Example: Print the character 'c':

$ $ $ $ $ (.)(.) ( | )
 8==D
 8==D
 8==D
 8==D

Writing more complicated programs is fucking impossible.

The Bling operator consists of a dollar sign and a newline surrounding its operand. The Boob, Ass and Dick operators should be self-explanatory. These four operators are isomorphic to function application, the K combinator, the S combinator and the I combinator, respectively.

Exercises

1. Implement a Vulgar program that prints "Hello world"
2. You'll never make it here. Ever.

Bugs

You'll definitely get them. Use protection next time, dumb-dumb.

Warranty

Vulgar is not fit for any purpose. However, we consider it hysterical to leave Vulgar programs open on coworker machines.

(c) 2010 CodeWhores LLC: Applying advanced computer science to the pursuit of immaturity and reddit upvotes. Contact [email protected].